A Bible verse about weakness:
“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
I didn’t want to write today. Things have been going on in my personal life, and my motivation for creating anything worthwhile is lacking.
I guess, then, that it is fortuitous that this was today’s verse because it speaks of weakness.
In our society, it’s generally frowned upon to admit our weaknesses. It makes us vulnerable to attack and judgement. It reduces our perceived value.
It’s exponentially more difficult to volunteer said information if you’re a man. Not that it’s any easier for a woman, but there are extra societal connotations for what it means “to be a man.”
Right, wrong, or indifferent, that’s just the way things are. The point is that it’s not easy.
Perhaps that is why Paul is telling us the strength of weakness.
Not only does this demonstrate humility when we can accept our faults or areas in which we lack, but more importantly, it reinforces the position that we require Jesus to fill the void.
The weaker I am, the more I need to rely on Jesus to compensate.
If only it were that easy.
I’ll be the first to admit my faults. I’ve been accused of being prideful and arrogant, but that doesn’t mean I’m a narcissist.
I am impatient with my daughter, and our relationship suffers because of it.
I am quick-tempered and slow to demonstrate love towards my wife, and our relationship suffers because of it.
Certainly, I speak too freely and wear my emotions on my sleeve at work, and my career suffers because of it.
I am weak in body, and it is falling apart.
Absolutely, I am weak in mind, and those around me pay the price for my mood swings.
I am weak in spirit, and my soul will pay the consequence.
I am weak in wallet, and my family bears the burden of it.
Now that I’ve volunteered my weaknesses, Jesus will alleviate all of them, right?
If only that were the case. Alas, I don’t think it’s to be taken that literally.
The most I can gather from this scripture is that this introspection activity is to provoke enlightenment on areas of improvement.
The problem is that I’m already keenly aware of where I fall short. Try as I might, it doesn’t seem to be getting any better.
Over the past few years, my spirit has grown, but I still have days where I have my doubts.
I have undertaken many different business ventures, and in general, my financial position is better than it used to be. But I still can’t afford the life that I envision for myself or my family.
I’ve undergone therapy over the past few years, but I still struggle with depression and possibly PTSD. No matter the preventative measures I take, there are still days when I am despondent and brooding.
And while I feel as though I’ve grown as a husband and a father, my family will quickly tell you that one outburst can ruin months of hard-earned trust.
The best analogy I’ve heard is that of Sisyphus: a figure from Greek mythology that was sentenced to eternally roll a large boulder uphill.
That is my life. A constant struggle.
There are no “Aha!” moments, no euphoric revelations. There is no rainbow at the end, or a light at the end of the tunnel.
Instead, I’m just wandering around that dark tunnel aimlessly, trying to get the damn batteries to work on my flashlight.
So there you have it: I am weak in all aspects of my life; Jesus, do with me as you will.
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