Remembering Our Little Baby, Princess Koda Sue

On December 28th, 2019 our beloved Koda was called home to be with the Lord. I have procrastinated on writing this post because my heart is broken. If it were up to me I would quit my job, stay home, and do nothing ever again. My love for Koda, and the lessons she taught me, compels me to continue.

Koda was 10 years and 4 months old when she passed. Throughout her lifetime, she had known plenty of illness and injury. Our vet jokes that Koda is the most expensive dog that she’s ever treated – and I don’t doubt it. But that’s not how I will remember her by.

I am incapable of summing up the life of my little girl in just a few words. Many people don’t understand how close we are, and how devastating this loss is for us. This post is merely a rambling of thoughts; Koda loved many people, and it is my duty to honor her by sharing her story.

Eventually, I want to write a book about Koda’s story and the lessons that she taught me. I was always convinced that dogs are, in fact, angels (Koda even had angel wings on her back). In my research after her passing, I learned that there are several examples in scripture that reference animals as teachers.

Upon further research, I also came to understand that in Ojibway culture, animals are also thought of as teachers. It seems interestingly coincidental that two different cultures with no contact could have the same belief if it were not so.

So if God created dogs to teach humans, then what are the lessons?

This is the plot of the book I will write. If I have learned anything from Koda’s passing it is this: Her life was full of love and purpose. Ultimately, it took her passing for me to completely understand the lesson. The old adage goes, “you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone,” and that’s true.

I knew that I loved Koda, but I couldn’t comprehend the depth of it until it was time for her to leave me. In doing so, I finally understood what I believe to be God’s most important lesson – unconditional love. I believe that God created dogs to be humans’ companions specifically to teach them this lesson. No other animal is so capable to teach it.

Koda excelled. She loved every person that she met. She greeted everyone with kisses, hugs, and an ever-wagging tail. Koda emanated love, always. No matter her circumstance, no matter how sick she was, she showed love to all.

The second lesson is about forgiveness. Dogs don’t hold grudges; they are perfectly build to teach humans how to forgive. As beautiful and loving as Koda was, she also had a penchant for mischief.

Several times we came home to upturned garbage cans. She loved to eat bunny poop in the yard, pretending like she couldn’t hear us yelling. Because of her allergies, she was licking and scratching constantly.

Try as I might, my frustrations got the better of me sometimes; I yelled at her many times throughout her life. Each and every time, she forgave me. No matter the circumstance, when I was ready to apologize she forgave me.

I believe these are the two most important lessons that God wants humans to learn, that’s why he made dogs to be our closest companions. No other animal is as equipped to teach God’s most valuable lessons.

Solace

In the aftermath of Koda’s passing, the first thing I did was google “do dogs go to heaven?” Even though I believed that dogs do go to heaven, I wanted to have some proof or reassurance that I was right.

Unfortunately, that was a bad idea. All of these biblical scholars and religious leaders had many pages and websites dedicated to all of the reasons why dogs, and animals in general, do not go to heaven.

The most common reasons are because animals do not have a soul and they cannot repent of their sins.

I was heartbroken and disconsolate. Not only had we just lost our little girl, but now I come to find out that there’s no hope for me to see her in Heaven?

I turned to my uncle for guidance. My uncle is an elder in our tribe, a man of strong Christian conviction, and full of wisdom and knowledge. I respect his insight tremendously.

Not only that, but my uncle used to raise and train sled dogs, so I knew that he was familiar with the loss we were experiencing. Here is what he said

Gash ki widoon (my name), There are books available on “amazon” or for that matter at any book store like “Barnes and noble” , that provide the information you desire.  To surmise, all animals are considered a significant creation of God.  As such it is said that all his(her) creation will return to “His” mighty infinite spiritual consciousness.  The books are titled: “Biblical proof animals do go to heaven “,  “Amazing afterlife of animals”, and “Will we see our pets in heaven”.  Also in the Bible read , Isaiah 11:6 ,  Isaiah 11:7-9 and Isaiah 65:25.   I have used this type of information to comfort my children when they were young and had lost a pet ( companion).

           Also, in our Ojibway/ Anishinabe cultural worldview animals are present on our journey to the “afterlife with the Great Spirit”.  Our animal Companions in the corporeal world are our companions in the incorporeal world. In the Anishinabe paradigms animals are our older “Brothers and Sisters”.   Because animals were created before us ( humans) they have ancient knowledge given to them by God ( Great Spirit). God instructed US (humans) to learn from our older Brothers and Sisters.  They taught the people how to survive and live in harmony. And “My Nephew “ the animals knew the way to the CREATOR before we did.

          In conclusion, this a brief overview and my answer is “yes”, animals ——-from Sparrows to Dogs are in the afterlife (Heaven).

This was precisely the information I was looking for, and I felt relief to hear it coming from him especially. I did pick up a few of the books, and I found that the book Biblical Proof that Animals do go to Heaven to be very comforting.

Within the first few pages, I felt reassurance; the author did a great job of dispelling the myths about dogs in Heaven. If you’re experiencing a similar loss, I would highly recommend this book.

Our Sweet Koda

So for as many times as I have referenced Koda as being “our”, or “my”, or “mine” – the truth is that she was and always will be God’s. In his wisdom, he gave us the opportunity to share a life of love with her. God knew that we were the perfect family to take care of her needs, and he knew that she was the perfect teacher for us to receive the lessons.

Koda loved our land; I am thankful that we had the opportunity to build a house and share it with her for these past few years. All summer long, our yard was kept clear of dandelions because those were her favorite snacks. She would spend all day foraging for little yellow blossoms. I am sure they are plentiful in Heaven; I will never be able to look at another one without being reminded of her fondly.

Koda was very needy when it came to belly rubs. If you even touched her, she would contort her body and pull your hand down just to give her belly rubs. She was such an itchy girl that she loved getting scratches, pets and rubs. But I think it was more because she just enjoyed the affection.

I am thankful that Bre taught Koda how to cuddle. But, it was a double-edged sword. Turns out that once Koda understood the affection and love provided by cuddling, she wanted it ALL THE TIME. In bed, on the couch, no matter what.

At night, she would move around the bed until she was either laying on or next to our feet. Sometimes she would come up and plop herself down into Bre’s open arms.

On the couch, I’d sometimes be awoken from a nap by a rather large puppy sitting on my head – because that was her spot.

In her younger days, Koda was crazy and wild. She loved to play, she loved to hike, and she went everywhere with us. Eventually, we decided to get her a sister – a companion for when we were at work. Almost instantly, Koda stopped playing and took on a motherly role for her younger sister.

When we first got Kashi, we found out that she had mites. She got treated quickly, but she lost a lot of her fur and was generally pretty miserable. Koda would always comfort her and the two of them frequently cuddled together.

Throughout the years they’ve had their fair share of tussles, but I know that Koda loved Kashi dearly and always looked after her. I pray that she continues to do so.

Koda also loved going to the lake or down to our river. She never really swam very often, but she loved standing in the water. She had an odd way of drinking water where she would take her big paw and splash the water and try to catch it in her mouth. Koda was a silly, fun-loving girl. It warms my heart to think of her splashing away in Heaven.

Of all the people that Koda ever met, the one she was most excited to see come visit was my dad. She got excited for everyone, and she loved everyone, but those two had a special bond. My father passed away on December 26th. That coincidence is not lost on me, and I am glad that he can watch her until I come.

Going Forward

There is no recovering from this. Life will never be the same. I don’t say that to be negative, but it remains the truth. Much like an amputee can learn to adapt, so can we. But we’ll never be whole again.

We are left with the memories, photos, videos, stories, and the insight we’ve gained in understanding Koda’s lessons. Oh, and I got a tattoo.

In part of my grieving process, I have been journaling letters to Koda daily. I have also continued to read the Bible daily. This was something that I had begun prior to her passing, but I have continued it since.

In the first few days after her passing I questioned God. Throughout this last instance of her illness, I was confident that it was just a test of my faith. I was certain that if I was resolute, she would overcome like she had many times prior.

After she passed, I was angry. I was upset that now, of all times, when I was closer to God than I had been my entire life, now she was taken from me. I couldn’t understand.

Now I understand that this was the first time in my life that she was able to go home, BECAUSE of my faith. Because I was closer to God, he knew that it was time for Koda to come home.

Again, I want to write a book about Koda’s story. All of her illnesses, her character, our adventures, and the lessons that she taught me. If, by God’s grace, I am able to complete this task I want to donate some of the proceeds to the different animal hospitals.

Money was not going to be the limiting factor for Koda’s treatments. It breaks my heart to think about how many animals are put down simply because their owners cannot afford the treatment. I would love to start a trust to help save more animals. I want that to be Koda’s legacy.

This summer, Bre and I will begin constructing a memorial garden full of a lot of herbs and flowers, because she would love smelling them. We’re also going to plant two memorial trees for her; one in the garden and one over by her Grandpa’s memorial tree.

There is no recovering from this. All we can hope to do is survive it, and have patience until we can be with her again. Koda had a life filled with love, and it is our duty to honor her by sharing her story and reciprocating God’s lessons that she taught us.

Koda

Lastly, to my little baby girl, thank you. Thank you for choosing me so many years ago. Thank you for saving me along the way. And thank you for the lessons that you taught me. I promise to honor you. Please wait for me in Heaven; I can’t wait to see you again. I love you Koda.

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